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Captains Curious: Ditching the Daemons – Fear

By on June 16, 2011 in Captains Curious, Curiosity

Welcome to Captains Curious, a weekly series of guest posts on the subject of Curiosity. This week: An encore from Captains Curious member Birdy Diamond! To learn about the series and the other Captains Curious, please click here.

Fear and curiosity cannot live in the same space

As my wonderfully wise hubby said in our “Curiosity in Times of the Tower” post, fear and curiosity tend not to be able to live in the same space.

Curiosity encourages you to take a breath, to look at things in a different light and from a different perspective.

So when you are in a place of fear, you can use curiosity to your advantage.

What fear is… and isn’t

Let’s stop for a moment and talk about what fear really is… and isn’t.

At the end of the day, fear is your body’s way of telling you that you are in the area of something new, a place you have never been before. Whether that place is physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual doesn’t really matter.

It’s new, and therefore it is scary.

Natural human reaction. Back in the day, it very nicely kept us from being eaten – which is, overall, a good thing.

Nowadays, while there are still things out there ready and willing to eat us, metaphorically and otherwise, the number of things that are new is nowhere near the same number as the things-that-are-new-that-are-also-dangerous. That number is distinctly in the minority.

And yet… we still have that same old fear reaction.

Curiosity rides to the rescue

What happens if you replace that fear with curiosity?

The literal thing is that you pause your emotional reaction and start thinking in a different way, from a different part of you.

The result is that you can breathe and analyze whether something is truly a threat to you, or it just appears that way because it is new.

Which is very important in Mike’s and my line of work.

Replacing the Fear with Curiosity

In our line of work, an expanded and expansive worldview is a must.

This means that one must be willing to not only suspend disbelief, but also to suspend the fear reaction in order to analyze what is really going on.

Curiosity is an excellent way to do both.

Curiosity lends itself quite nicely to the question-asking, the what-if thinking, that our profession requires.

Curiosity led us to making the explorations necessary to answer those questions, and the self-adjustments necessary to make those explorations.

The paranormal is a field filled with a lot of fear, almost by definition. If it is ‘beyond normal’, then it is new, therefore it is scary.

Except that it doesn’t have to be.

Two choices – Curiosity or Fear

You can hear a ‘pop’ or a knock that has no physical origin and be frightened, or you can hear the same sound and say ‘Hi!’, knowing that one of your friends has come to visit.

How did we get from fear to here?

Curiosity.

Curiosity led us to wonder if there was more out there, more than had been shared with us already.

Curiosity led us to explore a new career path, and to do the practice that let us get good at it.

Curiosity led us to calm our initial fear reactions long enough to find out whether new experiences would be really a danger or not.

Curiosity led, and continues to lead, us to explore further, to push the boundaries of what is possible.

Story Time

As an example, back in late 2008/2009, we came into contact with a being who is not native to this planet. Over the course of a number of conversations, we grew to become quite comfortable with the notion of talking to this being who is very different from us – physically, culturally, etc.

Curiosity led us to find the techniques and have the conversations that made understanding possible.

Even so, I was not yet ready to meet our friend in person. Something about that many fangs & scales in one space, no matter how friendly the being they were attached to, was just not something I was quite ready for yet and, embarrassed, I told him so.

Our friend understood. It was not time yet anyway, so it all worked out well.

Move forward to Hallowe’en 2009, when I met a gentleperson whom I am 95% sure was dressed in a Greys costume. Just out of curiosity, I asked myself “Self, I’m pretty sure this person is wearing a costume, and that’s not his own skin, but what if it were? Would you be okay with that?”

And to my delight, I discovered I would be.

Use curiosity to expand your worldview

Allow yourself to think of ‘What ifs?’ and realize that they don’t have to be made of Doom & Gloom.

Use curiosity in the face of fear to give yourself the chance to view things as they really are, and not just as you see them. :>

Use curiosity to dispassionately evaluate what is scaring you: Is it really a danger? Or is it just new?

Then act accordingly! :>

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Birdy Diamond and her husband, Mike Diamond, two “nearly-normal people in a not-yet normal profession,” run Paranormal Lifestyle.com, a business and blog devoted to helping people “put the ‘normal’ into ‘paranormal’.” They also explore other applications for their channelling across the various blogs of The Avian Empire.

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Post Image: Idea go / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Would you like to submit a guest post on the subject of Curiosity? Send an email to susan {at} susanTblake {dot} com with the subject line: Captains Curious.

Spiders, Obsessions and Life Lessons

By on June 14, 2011 in Notice

I got up this morning, put on my glasses, and went to the kitchen. Just like I do every morning.

I stumbled around, put water on to boil, ran my fingers through my hair, got out the cat food, looked down…

… and saw what looked like a black spider crumpled on the floor. Kind of squished, but not completely.

It was too early to think about anything but Coffee and Feeding the Cats. So I fed the cats while the water heated up.

I came back to the kitchen and, yes, it was definitely a spider. Mostly squished, but not completely.

O my god, I thought, had I stepped on it in my bare feet? Aaaaack.

Oh my GOD, was it in my hair? Did it fall out when I finger-combed my hair? Oh MY GOD, had it been on my pillow? Had I rolled over on it? Eeeeeeeew! OHMYGOD, was it in the clothes I took off the hook and put on when I got up? EEEEEEEEK!

Have I mentioned that I don’t like spiders?

At this point I could quite easily have dissolved into hysteria and spent the rest of the day in the kitchen, screaming.

Instead, I realized that none of that really mattered as long as it hadn’t bitten me, which it hadn’t. (Wait, what’s that itchy spot on my leg?)

So I got a kleenex, picked it up (Eeew, did it move?), didn’t see any red marks on its belly, and threw it in the trash. Eew. (Or should I say, “Threeeew it in the trash”?)

Once I had my coffee, I thought about how easily I could have driven myself to hysteria by thinking about all the things that might have happened. But they didn’t. And I didn’t.

Why didn’t I?

It’s really tempting to think about all of the things that might have happened, or should have happened, or that I should have done, or that someone else should have done. But unless I’m willing to take a lesson and move on, that kind of obsession only serves one purpose: It’s a great distraction.

I realized many years ago, when I was driving to work while seething at my husband for something, obsessing over him and what he had done, that when I obsess like that it’s usually because it is a great distraction from what’s really going on with me: What feelings am I avoiding? What part did I play in the situation? What action am I trying to avoid taking?

I hate that.

That kind of revelation is very humbling. And very useful.

Having learned that about myself has saved me a LOT of wasted energy over the years, and prevented a lot of escalated misunderstandings.

Now I notice

It has taken a lot of practice, but it’s much easier now to notice when I start to escalate and pull the plug on it, asking myself, “What’s really going on?”

(Although I admit I get a perverse thrill of fear from taking out the idea of rolling over on a spider and finding it in my hair and waving that scenario in front of myself several times so far today. Shivers.)

This type of obsessive distraction can cause a lot of problems, both in personal relationships and at work. Learning how to unplug it can improve both personal relationships and work situations – by improving my self-knowledge.

Do you ever find yourself obsessing over something? What do you use those tangents to distract yourself from? More importantly, how do you pull the plug on it?

Hm, what’s that itch on my foot?

Image: Pixomar / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Parkinson’s, Dance, Spasmodic Dysphonia, Singing – and Joy

By on June 12, 2011 in Joy

Friday night I luckily tripped over a story on the Newshour on PBS, which was rebroadcast from December 2010.

Watch this video. Substitute…

  • “Dance” for “Sing”
  • “Dance class” for “Choir practice”
  • “Look” for “Sound”
  • “Movement” for “Speech”
  • “Physical” for “Vocal”
  • “Parkinson’s” for “Spasmodic Dysphonia”

Yes.

This is vocalizing with Spasmodic Dysphonia, and it is one of the reasons I am so happy to have returned to singing. Dancing and singing bring joy under normal circumstances, but even more so under these circumstances. My voice works better when I sing, just like they move better when they dance. And it hopefully explains what I mean by learning to speak more like I sing.

I am reminded of something my brother told me, that his singing instructor said to him: “Good speech is half sung.”

And there’s that Joy thing again. It keeps coming up.

Thanks for listening.

Captains Curious: From Itchy Feet to an Itchy Mind

By on June 9, 2011 in Captains Curious, Curiosity

Welcome to Captains Curious, a weekly series of guest posts on the subject of Curiosity. The newest member of the Captains Curious is LaVonne Ellis! To learn about the series and the other Captains Curious, please click here.

I have a restless nature

Image: Danilo Rizzuti / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I have a restless nature, so I used to move a lot.

Conveniently, I wound up in broadcasting, an industry that requires frequent relocations in order to move up the career ladder. I loved it.

I was always curious about my new surroundings

The library would be my first stop, to read up on the history of the area. I loved the stimulation of new situations and things to learn: How to pronounce local place names correctly, where to find the nearest post office or pharmacy, the quickest way to get to work at five in the morning – and wow, look at that gorgeous view!

After a year or two it would all become routine

The minivan seemed to know where everything was without my even thinking about it. The view became so much wallpaper to my bleary, sleep-deprived eyes. I’d seen it all before.

That was when I’d start to feel the familiar itch to look for a new job, a new city.

This went on for years, until…

This went on for years, until I moved to a small, urban apartment in a sun-blasted San Diego neighborhood that held no interest for me at the time.

It was cheap. That was my only reason for renting it. The career was pretty much over. At 51, I had aged out. I was unemployed with a young son to raise. I told myself this place was only temporary, until I could get back on my feet. That was nearly 14 years ago.

Every year when the move-in date comes around, I marvel at how long it’s been. My son grew up here. It’s odd to think that when he is old, this is what he will remember as his childhood home.

Curiosity made it home for me too.

After the minivan was repossessed, we came to know our neighborhood inside and out, walking everywhere. I got all the bus schedules and a transit map that I tacked onto the wall, and together we explored the city.

But as time passed and finances improved, the old itch came back like clockwork every two or three years. I had a car again. I could move if I wanted to. I’d look at maps and google cities – Taos, Flagstaff, Portland, even Mazatlan. I loved San Diego, but I wanted something new to explore.

In the old days, I would have made an audition tape, typed up a resume, and sent them to all the radio stations in my city of choice. In a month or two, I’d find myself in a new and challenging environment – just the ticket.

The old itch came back like clockwork, but…

But I was tired. I no longer had the energy to be bright and perky on the air at dawn, or to prove myself to another crowd of skeptical local journalists. Plus, what station in this youth-obsessed media culture would hire a woman my age? And I had to admit, I was feeling awfully comfortable knowing exactly which shortcut home was best for avoiding all the stoplights.

Okay, I asked myself, now what? If moving is out, how do we stay, well – interested?

The answer that came back was Curiosity.

I took yoga classes, meditated, and began reading about Buddhism.

I learned a new way of cooking and eating without convenience foods.

I bought lots of books and kitchen gadgets.

I became obsessed with growing food on my balcony, and read every blog and book I could find on the subject. (I didn’t grow much food, but there’s always another summer.)

I learned about food storage, collecting mason jars and 5-gallon buckets that filled every cupboard and spare corner of the apartment. (I may have gotten a little carried away.)

And then one day…

One day, I decided to re-examine everything – every habit, every thought, every unconscious moment in my life. I washed dishes in a different order, brushed my teeth up and down instead of sideways, grew my short grey hair long. When old regrets popped up at the same automatic triggers, I let them go. I turned off the TV and found a better use for my time: Starting a business.

I was curious to see if I could find a better way to do the routine, daily stuff, but what I found was a whole new life that, ironically, looks to outsiders pretty much the same as it did before.

By examining the most mundane details of my life, I became truly present in the moment for the first time. I wasn’t dreaming of a future in another place. I was solidly here, right now, aware.

And intensely curious.

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When LaVonne Ellis isn’t busy being the Chief CustomerLover at http://customerlove.me, she is constantly learning about business, life, and herself.


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A Place for Joy – in Business?

By on June 8, 2011 in Curiosity, Joy

I have pretty amazing friends

Not long ago I invited some friends to support me in making a long-time dream of mine come true. In my letter, I explained what I wanted them to do, and I suggested four things that were in it for them if they helped:

  • Joy.
  • Curiosity. (“Can she do it?” “What’s it like to learn a new instrument?”)
  • Regular updates.
  • Music! I promised them a concert at the end of six months.

I invited about 95 people. I expected four or five to respond.

35 people pledged their support.

That’s right, thirty-five.

In marketing terms, that’s a 37% conversion rate.

I was shocked and amazed. Blown away!

So, I’m learning to play the banjo. (So far I know eight chords, I’m on my way to mastering one finger-picking pattern, and I’ve already created my own lick.)

I started wondering…

Once I got over the shock and awe, I started wondering. What the heck had I said that inspired them to respond in such droves? Granted, I have pretty amazing friends, many of whom have supported me in a variety of ways for years. Others among this group I confess I don’t know as well.

What the heck had I done to get a 37% conversion rate? And could I apply it to my business?

Maybe I just have amazing friends

At first I chalked it up to their being my friends and generally cool people. But in the small-business marketing circles I’m in, there’s a lot of talk about finding your “right people” (which is even more targeted than “target audience”). In marketing terms, I clearly found my Right People – at least for this.

Was there more to it?

I tried to leave it at that. But being the curious person that I am, I couldn’t stop wondering: Was there more to it? So I asked some of the people who had stepped up: What was it that inspired them?

I got two main responses (from everyone I asked):

Joy.

And they get to help make a dream come true.

That they responded with “Joy” didn’t really surprise me, since I had put that in the letter. (Although I was really pleased that it so appealed to them.) But I didn’t really think that would help me much with my business; after all, Joy isn’t something you hear about that much in the business world.

That they leapt at the chance to help make a dream come true didn’t surprise me much either, because they are all extraordinary people. What is interesting is that I didn’t use those words in my letter. But I had written a compelling message, so that aspect came through.

How awesome is that? But I didn’t think that would help me much in my business either, because people aren’t going to give me their business so that they can make MY dreams come true.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it

I still couldn’t stop thinking about it. And I remembered how I had heard Rich Sheridan, the founder of Menlo Innovations, say that it was his goal to for his people to be joyful at work. Maybe, I thought, that isn’t such a foreign concept after all.

If it’s not about joy, what is it about?

The more I thought about it, the more sense it made. Curiosity, wonder, employee engagement, courage, drawing people out, bringing people together… if it’s not about joy, what is it about?

So when someone asked me a few days ago what business I’m in, I explained that I am a small business consultant and coach, and I work with individuals and small business to identify the obstacles that are holding them back and work over, under, around, or through them … (and I went out on a limb here) so they can get the joy back in what they do.

Wow! She started telling me all about her business and how she’s lost the joy and what her big struggle is. Amazing.

A few days later a gentleman asked me about my business, and I told him the same thing. He’d been taking notes, but he lit up and really started scribbling when I talked about getting the joy back.

And he hired me.

A place for joy in business

Maybe there is a place for talking about joy in business. There is certainly a place for joy in our lives, and small business people often pick their our businesses because what they we do gives them us joy. And when we lose that it’s a sad thing.

I get a lot of joy from talking to people about what they do, what they would like to do better, and working with them to do that. It’s not the only thing that brings me joy, but it sure is a part of my work. Joy is contagious. And working with people to bring back their joy – or to find it for the first time – now that’s a dream come true.

What brings you joy – in your life, or in your work? Is it missing? Let’s find it.

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Captains Curious: Use Curiosity as Your Compass

By on June 2, 2011 in Captains Curious, Curiosity

Welcome to Captains Curious, a weekly series of guest posts on the subject of Curiosity. The newest member of the Captains Curious is Paula Swenson! To learn about the series and the other Captains Curious, please click here.

I let Curiosity be my tour guide

Being curious enriches my life in many ways, but never more so than when I travel. It’s curiosity that pushes me to walk a little further and see what’s around the next bend or over the rise of the hill, even though my feet are tired and the day has grown quite warm.

Curiosity draws me down a narrow stone walkway that opens into a pocket-sized piazza, brimming with flowers and a tiny café with only 3 tables. It’s a local place that has no sign, no need to advertise, discovered purely by chance. I eat exquisite handmade pasta with black truffles, thanks to being curious.

When I travel I view every journey, near or far, as a voyage of discovery. I let curiosity be my tour guide. I’ve discovered obscure but fascinating museums, archeological digs in progress, fabulous local cuisine, secluded idyllic beaches, unadvertised local festivals, world-class musicians, sanctuaries, parks and most important of all, glimpses of the real life of the places I visit.

Asking curious questions has led me away from danger…

Stopping to ask my curious questions of local people has both led me away from danger and toward amazing experiences that don’t ever come as part of a packaged tour or pre-set itinerary. Those experiences are key pieces of the mosaic of my life. Without my curiosity and the things it uncovers, I would not be me.

Once, in Rome, we saw streams of people headed the same way we were headed. My curiosity was fully engaged and we started to follow – but couldn’t really grasp the colloquial Italian we heard around us. We stopped to buy a bottle of cold water and I asked the shopkeeper where everyone was going. “A protest,” he explained, “against the government . . . perhaps,” he suggested, “today is a good day to travel outside the city to Ostia or Tivoli.” He was right, the protestors that day skirmished with the police; we enjoyed the countryside.

…and toward amazing experiences

On another occasion, in Kapadokya, curiosity led us to walk through a gate standing ajar at what appeared to be an archeological restoration in progress. We took a few photos of the empty site from our vantage point and as we turned to leave a man with a dog appeared. Certain we were about to be chased off, but ever curious, I called out a greeting and managed enough basic Turkish to ask the name of this place, so we could look it up later and get more information. Not only did we learn the name, Kaypakli, but we also got invited on a personal, private tour of the site. The man, it turned out, was one of the archeologists. Although he spoke almost no English and we spoke almost no Turkish, he was moved by our curiosity to share the work he was engaged in.

Curiosity opens doors

These are not isolated incidents. Curiosity opens doors and makes my travel more vibrant and relevant. I’ve been invited into people’s homes for tea and coffee, been taught to dance rembetiko and sirtaki in Greece, and been given lessons in the Turkish art of Ebru by a master craftswoman. I’ve witnessed ceremonies in villages unchanged since medieval times, eaten fresh sea urchins and been treated to traditional music by men gathering at the end of their working day to play simply for the joy of it – all because I let curiosity be my compass.

The next time you travel, whether around the world or just around the block, remember to pack your curiosity. It will change everything.

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Paula Swenson is a Creative Catalyst, artist and writer born in the USA, currently exercising her curiosity in central Bohemia, exploring castles and cobblestones in her free time. You can find her online at http://creativecompasscoach.com and www.zografis.com and on Twitter: @zografispaula

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Piazza Photo Credit: Ian Britton www.freefoto.com

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The “What If” Puzzle

By on May 31, 2011 in Curiosity, Fear

What is the difference between “What if…” and “What if…”?

I was recently talking with a group of friends who are, like me, small business people. We were talking about wrestling with self-doubt and dealing with our Inner Critic, and the “What if” questions started coming up. You know, the Doomsday Version.

At the same time, these are wonderfully creative people, problem solvers of all types. They (and I) also ask the other “What if…?”

What, I wondered, is the difference between “What if…” and “What if…”?

Let me explain.

The Doomsday Version might include,

  • “What if they don’t like me?”
  • “What if people don’t understand?”
  • “What if it’s cancer?”
  • “What if I’m wrong?”
  • “What if I look stupid?”
  • “What if I build it and nobody comes?”
  • “What if I can’t pay my bills?”
  • “What if I lose my house?”

…and so on.

Every scientist, artist and other problem solver also asks “What if…” but those questions are very different. The Creative Problem Solver version might include,

  • “What if I mix these two colors (or substances)?”
  • “What if I used this material?”
  • “What if I explored this canyon?
  • “What if I brought these teams together?”
  • “What if I asked this question?”

So I wondered aloud, how are these questions different, and how might we change the Doomsday Questions that stop us into Possibility Questions that help us move forward?

How do we identify the difference between the “what if” that leads to discovery and the “what if” that hides behind security? One of the differences that is immediately apparent is the addition of certain words – even if they are only implied.

The protector, the inner critic, asks, “(But) what if…” whereas the scientist, the artist, the writer, the explorer, all ask, “(I wonder) what (would happen) if…”

It is the difference between open possibilities and the possibility of Doom

We agreed that the voice of Doom, that voice of Fear, has a role. It is trying to protect us. But too often we don’t question the Doomsday scenario and we let it stop us.

The difference between the Doomsday “What if” questions and the “What if” of Creative Possibilities is the difference between Fear and Curiosity.

How can we tell them apart?

When “What ifs” come up, how can we tell which driver is behind the wheel?

One way is to look at the language. Does the question start with “But?” If so, it is probably Fear speaking.

Does the question begin with “What would happen if…” or, better yet, “I wonder what would happen if…” If so, then it is probably Curiosity speaking.

Take an even closer look. If the question is about things over which I have no control (or think I have no control), it is probably Fear talking. If the question is about things I can do, then it is probably Curiosity speaking.

Can we shift from Fear to Curiosity?

Is there a way to shift from a position of Fear to one of Curiosity? Yes!

How?

The first step is to recognize which voice is speaking. The words themselves are a giveaway, as is the issue of control.

Yet another giveaway is the tone. This can be challenging if the voice is in my own head, but I can still ask, is this a voice of protection or of exploration?

The second step is to ask, is the voice of Fear raising an objection that can be planned for, or is it just raising an old fear that is no longer relevant or is beyond my control?

As Mike and Birdy Diamond pointed out in their Captains Curious post, Fear doesn’t last in the face of Curiosity. Curiosity allows us to plan.

The third step is, as my friend and colleague Michael F. Broom says, to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Tara Joyce, who wrote a Captains Curious post about Living the Questions, was the person who introduced me to the concept of the value of living on the “edge of chaos.”

Jeffrey Davis writes about the value of “fertile confusion.”

And Paula Swenson, whose Captains Curious post will appear this week, has written about the importance of “making friends with uncertainty.”

These can all help us move from Fear to Curiosity.

I have learned

Once upon a time, as I was preparing to move to a different city, someone very important to me tried to talk me out of it. She was worried about me, and she was going to miss me (and I her).

“But what if (The Doomsday Scenario happens)?” she asked.

Now, I confess, I had already worried about that possibility. But I had faced it.

“I know what to do if it does,” I said, “Besides, what if it doesn’t?” I asked. “What if I live happily ever after?”

I chose not to live in fear of something over which I had no control.

As I have learned (over and over) to walk not in Fear but in Curiosity, making a comeback from one challenge after another, I have learned that “what if” can feel like chaos, like confusion, like uncertainty.

But it is almost never as bad as I fear.

Sometimes it is worse, but it might only be the edge of chaos. It could be fertile confusion. I can make friends with uncertainty. I can chose adventure. I can choose wonder.

As I write this, I am reminded of a scene from one of my favorite movies, “2010.”

It might be horrible.

Or it might be something wonderful.

I can choose what questions to ask, and how to plan.

And so can you.

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Captains Curious: Living the Questions

By on May 26, 2011 in Captains Curious, Curiosity

Welcome to Captains Curious, a weekly series of guest posts on the subject of Curiosity. The newest member of the Captains Curious is Tara Joyce! To learn about the series and the other Captains Curious, please click here.

To be open and asking questions is often frowned upon

We are encouraged to see the world in black and white, as an either/or proposition with a right or wrong answer, and we are expected to chose accordingly.

We are told that those who “know” things are experts, and are here to help us make the right choices. We are taught that experts are those we can trust when we have problems. And we are led to believe that, by asserting our own “knowing,” we can create evidence of our own professionalism and abilities – and be experts, too.

To not know and admit it, to be open and asking questions is often frowned upon. We are made to feel ashamed for “not knowing.” We are made to feel that we need to be certain of things — that we need to have the answers before the questions have been asked. This “knowing” is seen as an accomplishment and proof of our abilities.

Many of us build our careers around this false belief, that if we live as the expert, we will know what’s best. We fool ourselves into believing that we already have the answers, despite the fact that we do not yet know the questions that need to be asked.

We hold on to answers to questions that have not been asked, and this causes us to live in fear of our own, and others’, curiosity and wonder.

Living in Questioning

What I wonder is, what’s so bad about “not knowing?” What makes me less professional or able if I don’t have your answers? I believe my curiosity and wonder, my need to question, is my greatest gift. It allows me to think beyond the answers spoon fed by others in their attempt to assert their “knowing.” It allows me to see that there is never a right answer, only an answer that works best for me.

My openness to “not knowing” gives me permission to live in questioning. And as experts busy themselves trying to be seen as right, I, curious about the world and all that I do not know, am busy trying to see everything.

Curiosity and wonder live and thrive in the exploration of Why? Great solutions are found in the Why? Through the use of questioning, I give permission to myself, and my clients, to brush off the chains created by “knowing.” Through questioning, I dig deep to uncover the real reason behind why something “must be done this way” and help myself, and others, to move past assertions of “how things are” to find the solutions that feel true to us.

Living in Creative Tension

In Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline, Senge states,

“The gap between vision and current reality is a source of energy. If there were no gap, there would be no need for any action to move towards the vision. We call this gap creative tension.”

Living in creative tension is living in curiosity. Our curious Self sees, in the gap of “not knowing,” a safe place to problem-solve, to dream and to focus on living our questions.

As someone full of wonder, and as someone who helps others use curiosity to grow their business, I see the “grey area” of life, outside the “black” and “white” world, as my home. In creative tension I feel safe, as this is where I am free to be a beginner and open my eyes, heart and mind to the authentic answers within myself, and within my clients.

Your own creative tension, your own place of living the questions, is the place where curiosity lives and is the place most ripe with the solutions you need. Living without fear of “not knowing,” and ignoring those who “know” without questioning, we create our greatest possibility to close our gap between what is and what could be.

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I, Tara Joyce, can be found exploring business, design, consciousness, communication and culture on my blog, Rise of the Innerpreneur or as @ElasticMind on Twitter. I can also be found working with business owners to close the gap between their business vision and their business reality through the use of design, which, of course, involves a lot of questioning!

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Would you like to submit a guest post on the subject of Curiosity? Send an email to susan {at} susanTblake {dot} com with the subject line: Captains Curious.

Curiosity in Action: Employee Engagement

By on May 24, 2011 in Curiosity, Employee Engagement

I was recently invited to a forum on Engaged Team Performance by one of the managing partners of Implementation Partners, Roland Cavanagh. I first met Roland two years ago, when I interviewed him for a research project.

The forum consisted of two presentations, one from a client and the other a company built from a similar vision,  about how they view employee engagement and how their efforts to apply Engaged Team Performance resulted in highly engaged, creative, even joyful, company cultures and enhanced the success of each company.

The two companies were, in some ways, very different. One was a relatively small, stand-alone company that was built from the beginning on its model of structure-supported creativity and interaction; this company’s story reinforced my belief that small companies have the potential to test theories and practices that can change the world.

The other company was a newer subsidiary of a much larger, older organization. As part of this larger, older organization, they had to overcome entrenched attitudes and habits: Speaking up and thinking creatively were not encouraged. Questioning was not encouraged.

For example, when looking for ways to streamline a particular process, they could have just automated it. Instead, they worked with the team members to investigate why things were done a certain way. Why do we do it this way? Does it have to be done this way?  How else might we accomplish this? What are the risks and benefits of making a change? Then they came up with a plan, one that was based on answers to questions, not generally accepted assumptions.

Within a larger culture of “Ours is not to question why, ours is but to do or die,” this took some getting used to. It required trust-building.

But as they became more comfortable with this questioning approach, and with the follow-through on the answers, they questioned more and became more creative in their proposals for how they might do things differently. They implemented changes to the process that resulted in time savings that benefited the customer and freed up resources. Rather than cut head-count, they applied those human resources to other projects and initiatives, giving people even more opportunities for creative problem solving. It was more fun for them, and both their customers and the organization enjoyed the benefits.

It struck me, as they were describing this, that what I was hearing was a perfect demonstration of the importance of developing and applying curiosity. By creating a safe space and encouraging team members to exercise their curiosity, they became more comfortable with it and it became part of their culture. They were then able – and eager – to apply that curiosity to additional projects and creative endeavors.

When I brought this up and commended the presenters from this client company during the Q&A period, I was reminded by their blank looks that Curiosity is taken for granted and overlooked in most situations as the integral secret sauce that makes such initiatives successful.

In fact, “secret sauce” probably isn’t the best term to use. Curiosity isn’t a process or a methodology that needs to be learned. Instead, it is a muscle that every person brings with them, and organizations with engaged members encourage, even expect, those members to exercise that muscle.

I don’t think it was an accident that the presenters described environments that encouraged curiosity as part of their successful efforts to build Engaged Team Performance, even if they never used that term. I also don’t think I am looking for something that wasn’t there. But I noticed it, because I pay attention to this subject.

I’m looking forward to reading Building Engaged Team Performance, the new book by Roland Cavanagh and Dodd Starbird of Implementation Partners. Based on the case studies presented at this forum, I expect it to be a very interesting read – even if they never use the word “curiosity.”

What do you think? What role does curiosity play in engaged organizations (large or small)? What is the impact of the absence of curiosity or, worse yet, its being stifled?

Captains Curious: Curiosity in Times of the Tower

By on May 19, 2011 in Captains Curious, Curiosity

Welcome to Captains Curious, a weekly series of guest posts on the subject of Curiosity. The newest members of the Captains Curious are Mike and Birdy Diamond! To learn about the series and the other Captains Curious, please click here.

What good is curiosity? Just how important is it?

When Birdy brought up the question of curiosity to me, I got to thinking about how vitally important curiosity was, especially in Times of the Tower, a.k.a. times of major life-altering change, for those of you not immediately familiar with Tarot symbolism.

Why?

Because when people are having problems, what normally happens is the instinctual hiding and going inward thing. You know – you are being hunted (it doesn’t really matter by what) and you should hide and go into yourself. Don’t be noticed, maybe the bad thing will eat somebody else – just sit there and feel sorry for yourself.

Which is exactly the wrong thing to do!

Even in the old days, having friends with spears was a lot more useful.

Birdy chiming in here, with some examples for those of you (like me) who learn better by story.

Where shall we begin?

Oh, yes, the running-and-hiding-under-furniture thing.

Yes, a definite tendency, and one I’ve practiced far more often than I’d like to admit. 😀

But yes, while an instinctive move, perhaps not the best one to make in such times.

On a personal note, the running and hiding thing has caused me FAR more embarrassment and trouble than it was worth.

To the point that no, I don’t have any stories that I’m willing to share about that aspect, beyond ‘Been there. Done that. Do NOT recommend it!’ :>

But why curiosity?

  • Because you can’t be curious and closed down at the same time.
  • Fear doesn’t last in the face of curiosity
  • Curiosity forces you to look outward
  • It encourages perspective
  • It encourages thinking ‘outside the box’

All of which is exactly what you should be doing in Times of the Tower.

So.

A story that I AM willing to share.

Well, the first one that comes to mind is the one that sparked this whole ‘Time of the Tower’ idea in the first place.

As is so often the case, it was the personal situation that brought it home.

We’d heard about the Japan earthquake/tsunami, but were distant enough from it to view it with the detached compassion that occurs when the turmoil is not at your own front door.

Then our own world fell apart, and the need to deal with the Time of the Tower hit home.

My husband was informed that his employer was succumbing to their own lack of curiosity and entering into bankruptcy, which meant the closing of a number of stores, including the one he worked at.

(If you’ve been hanging around me at all, you probably know the parties involved, but as Susan rightly pointed out, names are not important here. What is important is our own curious approach to getting our tailfeathers out of the fire. Besides, the retail industry’s lack of curiosity and the consequences therefrom is a WHOLE ‘nother show. :-D)

  • Because you can’t be curious and closed down at the same time.

So, after the crying and the screaming was done (I freely admit in times of stress, I tend to go to my Totem Sparrow, who is not exactly the quietest of Birds!), we set about putting our curiosity to work.

  • Fear doesn’t last in the face of curiosity

Sitting down and exploring our options was an excellent way to keep the boogeyman at bay, which was definitely helpful, especially for those middle-of-the-night fears that creep up and pounce unwanted, though not unexpectedly.

  • Curiosity forces you to look outward

Later on, we would discover that Explorer is an Archetype shared by both of us, which explains a lot about why curiosity is such an important thing for both of us.

At the moment though, we were only interested in figuring out what the flock we were going to do to get ourselves out of this mess. With an unemployment rate of 11% in Michigan, and a distinct lack of desirable options as far as a range of jobs, the squeeze definitely seemed on.

But we put all that behind us and sat down, determined to use our curiosity find a way that worked.

We brainstormed.

We hashed out options.

We worked things out to make sure vital things would be taken care of.

We took action, both because it was the Useful Thing to Do, and because it kept the boogeymen in the middle of the night at bay.

  • It encourages thinking ‘outside the box’

Curiosity let us do all that.

It freed us from being so immersed in the situation that we couldn’t move.

It allowed us to explore other options and paths.

It allowed us to look at things in new lights and from new directions.

Good things those.

  • It encourages perspective

And it also gave our brains something useful to do, instead of dwelling on the negatives, which was very useful from both a movement and metaphysical perspective.

It also gave us the freedom to look at the situation from more than just the angle of a soon-to-be-ex-employee. This is valuable stuff, not only for the information it brings at the time, but also for avoiding future problems in one’s own life and situation.

For example, the things we’ve learned about what NOT to do in business are both numerous and things people would pay tons of money to know.

Many are common-sense, which just goes to show you how scale and business veneer can change one’s vision. And that ultimately, when it comes to business smarts, size does not matter, which can be an incredible confidence builder!

The Time of the Tower is all about the ‘out with the old – and in with the new’ kind of time.

If you are associated with the old thing – even if indirectly – it can start off as a bad thing. And often it is bad.

At least in the beginning.

The old thing going away always leaves a vacuum.

Always!

It hurts. It still does, even though at the time of this writing, we’ve had nearly a month of Mike being home. The benefits are numerous, and on a big-picture level, we don’t regret a thing, but it’s still all too easy to give way to the emotions that lie just underneath, the parts of you that resist change with all their might, even when it’s the best change that could happen to you.

To be replaced with something new.

And there is the opportunity!

The gift in disguise, if you only know how to look for it.

And overall, it IS the best thing that could happen to us. The changes, both personal and professional, that have occurred in just the short time since Mike’s come home are both a telling example of what is wrong with Big Business today, and a striking example that not all seemingly devastating change is, in actuality, devastating.

Encourage your curiosity!

Gain the perspective that will allow you to see that it is a Time of the Tower and to look for those opportunities that are there if you only have the curiosity to look for them.

Once you realize it’s only a ‘Time of the Tower’, you know it’s a side effect of a growth spurt – along with the associated opportunities – so you know there is no need to waste any more time with fear.

If it’s ultimately going to be a good thing, then why worry?

But, remember one thing.

The old ways of doing things may be part of what is going away.

So, be on the lookout for new, outside-the-box solutions and methods for your future.

Encourage your curiosity – you will find it quite profitable!

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Mike Diamond, man of mystery & science. Aviator, astronomer, inveterate questioner & explorer. Also a channel, he & his Guides eagerly await opportunities to educate folks on what’s out there in the Universe. You can find him most often on the decks of the A.E.V. CrowTarot (http://www.crowtarottours.com) or in the Mind Arts Lab of Blanket University (http://www.craftycrows.com), but he is also to be found flying about through all the sites of the Avian Empire. (http://www.theavianempire.com)

Birdy Diamond can most often be seen flying around the web gathering bits for her ‘Roving Robin’ columns for such sites as: Birds on the Blog, CustomerLove, and the Caffeinated Business Community. In her native habitat of the ‘Avian Empire’ (www.theavianempire.com), she is most often to be found in the Studio of TwOOwls Art (www.twoowlsart.com), the Mysticphoenyx Cafe (www.mysticphoenyxcafe.com), or the Talking Tree over at ‘An Encouraging Bird’ (www.anencouragingbird.com), though she is also to be found on board the A.E.V. CrowTarot and on various parts of the campus of Blanket University.

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Would you like to submit a guest post on the subject of Curiosity? Send an email to susan {at} susanTblake {dot} com with the subject line: Captains Curious.

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